Randomness

Hi there,

Hope everyone out there is doing okay. Here? Okay I guess. Still looking for that lovely career that hasn't knocked on my door. I feel sometimes that it never will but have to remember to keep my chin up. Also I wanted to note that I need to find a way to make my blog more creative. I think my creativity has in fact dwindled into nothingness as of late. I see all these other lovely blogs out there and think wow they are amazing and mine looks like shit. Well thanks to Facebook and social networking I have realized that they actually do not help you at all. They make you wish for the grass on the other side cause it seems greener when in fact it may not be. So here is my next project for myself. I have a big collection of notebooks. The pretty ones that you find at Barnes and Noble and it is very rare that I write in them but I will begin again. What will I write in them you say? Well, the idea is to write one great thing that happens to me during each day. I know it will take some initiative which I usually have plenty of but then it turns into laziness half way through but I will try. I am going to try to jot things down and put them in a jar and whenever I feel bad or sorry for myself (it happens) I will go into the jar and read one good thing I experienced or did.  For today being that it is early I will say I started the day early and accomplished a blog entry. Hopefully they will get better over time. So let's raise an imaginary glass to our success and hopefully soon it will be real.

Think think think

It's been a long time since I have been here. A lot of things have been going on and at the same time not so much. Sounds a bit like an oxymoron.  I have come to the realization that other people's blogs are way cooler looking with their images and whatnot. I have to improve on that. Being that once I was a lazy overachiever (again oxymoron) but so true. I always had so much on my plate but somehow managed to do it all and in a timely fashion. Nowadays it seems that there is never enough time or that I have lost interest in being the overachiever. I have figured out why. I think it is because all this time I have tried really hard at doing things and achieving so much but after a while it no longer seemed like I was going anywhere so I kinda stopped and that's where I am now. It could also have to do with getting older and I kind feel that I am a mix of old soul peppered heavily with a young child at heart. I know oxymoron all over the place and yes I am using that word a lot but come on when will I get the chance again. So what is new? Well job search is still on and if I hear one more time that they went with someone more qualified I will burst.  I understand that I am not right for every job or that I may not want every job out there but this especially stings on the jobs I really really want. I have resumed my reading a bit more. Finished the hunger games like many people out there. I love it and just caught the movie opening day and thank god I had the time to go early because honestly could not deal with all those crazy teens and long lines. I actually read the first book while I was in New Hampshire for a week for "vacation" and I quote and say that lightly because it was hardly a vacation by my standards. Although I did learn to ski and bust my ass a few times. Anyway off topic, I picked up the book because I did not want to see the movie without reading the book first. Had read great reviews and what the heck. Well I devoured all three books in 6 days, had to sleep sometime. Well they are amazing and so is the movie. Even though I wanted to see the movie because of the Breaking Dawn 2 teaser trailer which by the way boo cause I had seen the 15 sec teaser online and the one in theater was 5 sec more no big deal. Anyways that is about it for now I will stop boring you and going in different tangents.  Here's hoping that by next time I write something I will be employed, have done major overhaul of this lovely thing and much more.  Talk to you later.

Reading

So I always have enjoyed reading as it transports you to somewhere new with the flip of a page. Unfortunately I have been very very bad in reading lately. With my 2 hour daily commute from work I used to read quite a lot, once I read an 11 chapter book in 5 hours. I had this goal to prove Mark Twain wrong since he said that we praise classics but never actually read them which I think is so true. I also feel that it seems like deja vu cause I have spoken about this before. Well I am going to go down my list again and start to read because it helps me escape from this crazy world and that sometimes is necessary. I also came across the reading list of Rory Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls, well her reading list from the show so I am going to try to tackle it.  I already have a bunch of stuff on my plate but I am going to try it will not harm me to do so. So it begins and let's hope it keeps going.

Pursuit of Happiness

So I have been quite low recently, for more than 6 months now and it's been really disturbing. There have been reasons behind it but for someone who thinks she is mostly optimistic it has been very annoying. So I was on youtube a few days ago and came across this very hilarious video someone made. The video essentially was talking about people being sad all the time and how they don't have a reason to be. How being sad takes so much time and effort and you need to make your sad soundtrack to get in your sad mood and everything. I thought it was so true and the guy that made the video was hilarious. He basically had a way to cheer himself up when he was about to get sad basically he would just shrug and say "fuck it" and I been trying it. It helps. I have also started listening to cheery music again sorry Adele, I love you and your music but you are getting me so freaking sad and I don't need help in that department. I actually have been playing the "Drive" soundtrack as of late. Some of the music is not cheery to say but it makes me wish I was driving and brings me back those memories where I used to drive my car at night.  I loved driving my car, my green little Jetta so it's all good. The soundtrack is pretty sweet and the movie is really awesome. I had mixed feelings when I saw it first but it's one of those movies that could be underrated at first but you learn to appreciate.  So I am keeping my chin up and be positive and bob my head to the beat....  I am totally dancing as I am writing this listening to the chromatics tick of the clock.

Health

So I just thought of something and I need your help. All of you out there.  What is the one healthy food that you actually enjoy eating. Why do you like it and how is it good for you? I am trying to broaden my healthy food consumption cause at this point is not so good. My favorite healthy food are carrots because they are sweet and crunchy and they are good for your heart and eyesight and much more. I love baby carrots. I think I am going to have some right now. Please give me some feedback. Thanks

Same shit.. different day

Last post was about resolutions. How are they going? EH. I have been thinking a lot lately which is seldom wise in my opinion as it leads to doubts and thinking about one's life a little too much. Everywhere I look it seems that everyone is doing better than I am. Is this the grass is always greener effect? Maybe. Quarter Life crisis? Maybe. I just think that for someone who has always called herself an overachiever I haven't achieved much by this point. I mean if I sit down and look at what I have actually done so far it seems I have done pretty well but there is always someone out there who is one upping me. And no me gusta. Yes I am very competitive but not to the point that I am jealous at others for their success but I feel as of late I might be.  So what has cause such disappointments you say. To be honest the fact that I still have to land a career in my field of choice is number one. Don't even get me started on my relationship status cause it will only make me bitter. I was just watching something on t.v a few minutes ago I think it was pop up video and apparently some psychologist was saying that people who are constantly happy all the time, have mental issues because they do not understand life fully and its complexity.  I know that is kinda deep for pop up video, random fact, it was associated with the song don't worry, be happy. Well I am trying not to worry but it's been really hard. I vowed, well let's rephrase to I told myself that this year would be different but so far nothing, nada, zip, zilch. I am trying to take it one step at a time but I want me some instant gratification for once. Is that too much to ask for?  I just sound like I am complaining and yes I am.  But I have also noticed that I only like to write and share my thoughts through blog when I am not happy, same thing about my poetry. I find it in a way liberating.  I doubt anyone is reading this. If you are thank you. I am sorry if I am bringing you down. Even my blog is not as cool as the ones I see out there. See going back to some self loathing. No good.  Well I will try to go back to my old positive self because it is true there is always someone out there that has it worst than you do. For those of you who read this can someone enlighten me why I cannot find a freaking job as a junior copywriter. Point me out my flaws I need some tough love. I promise I won't hold it against you I am a firm believer in no sugar coating and tough love. Well this will be all I think. Let's turn this shit around.....

Ah New Year.. New You

It's resolution season everybody.  Did you already give up on yours? According to statistics people quit their resolutions after one week. I totally made that up I am not aware of resolution statistics but I bet I am pretty close.  I personally do not like to make resolutions because they are never successful as a Pisces I tend to procrastinate and dream too much. But last year I made a resolution that I actually wanted to keep.  What was it? To visit a new restaurant every month. And not a chain or food joint like Lenny's or Five Napkin Burger although they are very tasty. So I have to say that this resolution was quite a success, at times I visited more than one a month. I could have probably made it an even more successful resolution by buying groupons and deals from living social or restaurants.com but that's not how I roll (even though I should).  Although I have to say I have a bit of addiction with groupon it's like those extreme couponists (is that even a word- add that Merriam Webster) I am stockpiling for future use.  Well getting off topic, so let's move on. My new year's resolutions this year: well there are various even though "experts" recommend you don't make more than one cause you might not stick to it. So here is my to do list (not resolutions) things I would like to achieve this year to improve myself.

1. Be Cheap- as in stop being nice and treating everyone and buying things you do not need, cannot afford and save some money.  I know that sounds like Scroodge but hey Christmas is over Dickens this is a bad economy I am unemployed and I need some cushioning in the bank.  So far I am doing ok but I need to get my a-- in gear and crank it up.

2. Find a job that leads to my career. Yes that would be something in advertising and in an office (cubicle-gotta pay those dues).  I am a workaholic and sometimes a bit generous if you catch my drift: as in would you mind staying a few more hours? sure. No overtime? sure.  Well that might still not change cause that's just me but the job hunt is full on. Let's do this.

3.  Get healthy- Well this is a yearly one for I believe everyone and it hasn't gone so smoothly. Plan of action is to start with small changes. Change one add water remove soda (even gingerale). This might not work cause when people deny me stuff I seem to rebel plus I like food and bubbles.  Well I am going to try my best.

4. Change the world- How?

A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

I usually make donations to charities whose vision I agree with. I have donated and raised funds for Children International, ASPCA, American Cancer Society and more. Nowadays you can take it a step further and update your status and have your friends join or ask your employer for a matching donation. So this year besides trying to donate my time/money I will try to get more people to help as well. 

http://www.crowdrise.com/ (they are currently having a drive with celebrities and mozilla matches donations- check website for details)

I think those are the resolutions/things I will try to accomplish this year. Also my tip would be pick something you really want to accomplish. Write it down and make small goals that can be achieved in a short period of time to lead to your bigger goal. Good luck to all of us.